Archive for July, 2009



I have butterflies in my stomach.

I really should not have them as what is causing them cannot happen until at least two years from now. Maybe it’s the fact that I’ve been searching for this epiphany for years now and I am beginning to feel that it may be within my grasp. Many of us know what they want right from the get go. I never did. I thought I knew what I wanted yet its fluidity constantly haunted me. Now, I think I may finally be one step ahead and that some of the ripples of my decisions are slowly coming to a halt.

I have a phone appointment on Monday to assess the potential of my possible future course of action. I wait patiently. I refuse to count my  chickens before they hatch. The last thing I need is to unlock the door of disappointment.


Don’t Judge a Book by Its Cover

With a cover that is almost devoid of any colour, it sat quietly amidst its fellow hardcovers. On any given day, it would not catch my eye at all; however, on that warm, sunny day serendipity intervened. I cannot even explain the logic behind the involuntary, albeit voluntary in a technical sense, movement of my hand reaching for a book in the middle of the pile. I ignored the simple, bland cover and decided that it will be my reserve book in case I do not get the chance to go back to the library. I placed it at the bottom of my large purse and went on my merry way.

At home, I did not disturb my apparently pre-decided order of reading. The first two did not disappoint; however, much to my surprise, I saved the best one for last. What a wonderful book! Dr. Rubin’s writing is nothing but excellent. She was able to convey her private emotions so eloquently along with such a vivid picture of the different patients. Reading it was captivating and informative at the same time. Such a rare treat! I learned about the core of the counseling experience by giving me, the reader, access to her thoughts and feelings as she processed and assessed each of the clients mentioned in the book. I can honestly say that I finished the book with an even much more appreciation of the therapeutic relationship and gained more information about the application of certain skills than any of the textbooks that I have read so far this year. Moreover, it also made me think about my self, my current views, thoughts, and emotions, and my own trepidations regarding the field that I am about to enter. How I have slightly underestimated what life still has to teach me. Also, I realized that I have partly shielded myself for years now with facts and academic pursuit while I continued to stifle certain affect, both positive and negative, for fear of facing them. Clearly, I am a continuous work in progress.

I recommend this book to everyone.


Events Update

The Il Divo concert was everything I expected it to be. It was a joy listening to them live. Many of the women swooned over Carlos’ charisma which definitely amused me. I, on the other hand, find Urs to be very attractive. His speaking voice is very sexy. In terms of me attending the concert alone, I admit that I still had a tinge of hesitation when I left the apartment; however, every bit of it dissipated once I situated myself on my seat with a small bag of popcorn on hand. I was definitely glad that I decided to go by myself.


Luck was on my side yesterday when I saw the Craigslist posting for a solo ticket to Wicked. After seeing it, I immediately emailed the seller and found out within a few hours that the ticket was still available. Even though it was Mr Shell’s birthday, a part of me felt like that it was mine too. I picked up the ticket today and I could not believe that it’s an orchestra seat within the first 15 rows. And I paid less than $100. It was worth battling the heat today.


Unfortunately, I do not think I will be able to watch Cirque du Soleil this time around. The ticket sale is now over and I cannot afford to spend over $100 on it. I do not want to compromise my financial situation. Besides I doubt that Cirque du Soleil will stop having shows in Vegas anytime soon. And crossing off two out of three from my list is not bad at all.


No Wicked

The trio of events that I wanted to see this month consists of Il Divo, Wicked, and Cirque du Soleil. Clearly, Il Divo is crossed off the list. Next in line is Wicked. KP and I were supposed to see Wicked together. Sadly, due to circumstances beyond her control, she was not able to inform me of her financial situation until a couple of days ago. We immediately checked for tickets and, much to our dismay, all the shows are sold out. I’m scoping out Craigslist now; however, the tickets being sold are way past our budget that it looks like we won’t be able to go. It would be a huge miracle if I find affordable tickets.

I guess I’ll just revel in the book for now.

Or hope that I get to wear this:


Information Sharing

As a person, I tend to be reserved with providing personal information to people I just met. It always left me bewildered how individuals can easily share intimate details about themselves to others such as classmates. I remember an acquaintance telling me about her devastating breakup right before class as a response to my question of “How was your weekend?” It was one of the few times that I was left slightly speechless. I did not know what to say. Sadly, something inappropriate was blurted out from my lips. I said, “Wow!”. I know. Very inappropriate. Not one of my greatest moments.

During class today, we had to share a little something about ourselves and our experiences involving substance abuse counseling. Being a noob to counseling, I did not have much to contribute. I mentioned my background in research briefly and my success in quitting smoking so as not to appear closed-off. Well, apparently this was not enough. My prof prodded me slightly about my research experience and my smoking cessation experience. Another one of those moments that took me by surprise. I did not know what to say. I did not want to talk about my research experience because I did not want to come off snooty considering majority of the people in my class do not have the same background as me. I did not want to sound like a know-it-all. I spewed something vague about my undergraduate thesis. When she asked me about the smoking, I limited the info to how long it took me to quit. This whole experience left me flustered. It felt like an interrogation and I did not want to answer the questions. I’ve been told that I do not disclose much information…that people need to pry them out of me with a barrage of questions. I feel that sharing my privacy is something only I should determine and if I am not disclosing that people should take the hint. Unfortunately, I have been noticing lately that this is not the case. Many individuals do not seem to observe the hints or choose to ignore the hints. It doesn’t upset me per se, but it makes me really really uncomfortable.


Alone with Il Divo

Back in March, I found out the date for the Il Divo concert in Sun City. I immediately considered going as I have always wanted to see them. Unfortunately, being in a new city I was not sure  if I could find someone to go with. The first person that popped in my head was Rio, a friend from school. He agreed to go, but he didn’t really appear to be as excited as I was so I had my reservations. Three months later, I got to know him better and discovered that he is not the type of person I would ever be good friends with so I decided to cancel the initial plan. I did attempt to find another friend who would want to see Il Divo with me. Sadly, they either do not like Il Divo or they never even heard of them. I was back to my original position – no one to go with to the concert.

I tried to forget about it, but as the date approached I started mulling over it again. Then Mr Shell suggested that I should just go by myself. My initial reaction was shock. I never even considered this option. Mr Shell acknowledged my indecision and even offered to accompany me despite the fact that he does not listen to Il Divo. I would not feel comfortable subjecting him to something he has no interest in. After much internal deliberation, I decided to attempt this endeavour alone. I have never done something like this so what can I lose? In terms of cons, there really is none unless one is so utterly pressured to conform by societal norms and expectations. Of course, I would prefer to share this experience with a fellow fan; however, things happen for a reason and I welcome this new experience. C’est la vie!



Apparently this is slightly old news as it actually happened last week, but I do feel that it merits a post despite the tardiness. Upon watching the evening news today, I was informed that the Arizona Senate has approved a bill that will allow individuals with concealed weapons permits to carry a gun into any of the businesses that serve alcohol. I admit my first reaction to this was…WTF!!! With a 19-8 vote, senators in the state of Arizona actually thought that it is a great idea to combine guns and alcohol – like it’s a duo made in inebriation heaven. Do these senators not read any books detailing the impairments caused by alcohol consumption? Or should I dare ask if they were partaking in happy hour when they voted? Honestly, this is pretty ridiculous.

Now, many individuals are citing the second amendment to support the bill. In my opinion, this is not a second amendment issue. It is a matter of societal responsibilities. Yes, there may be plenty of individuals who will bring a gun to a bar and act responsibly; HOWEVER, there may be as many, if not more, individuals who will be too impaired to either be a responsible gun owner or be responsible enough for their weapon to not allow it to fall on the wrong hands. Looking at a Phoenix AA meeting map alone, they are pervasive that one cannot read the city names anymore. And these are the individuals who decided to seek to combat their addiction. If it requires that many AA meetings, it can be inferred that alcohol should not be taken lightly in this state. How did these senators justify to themselves that the risks posed by a gun in the hands of a drunk person is something to be dismissed? Guns don’t kill people…people drunk people will kill people.

I do hope that the governor vetoes the bill. If she doesn’t, then the prophecy of Idiocracy will come true.

To end this rant —

“We don’t let people drink and drive, why should we let them drink and carry guns?” said Sen. Paula Aboud, D-Tucson, who voted against the bill.

Well said, Sen. Aboud.