30
Mar
09

just one of those days

Every now and again, despite numerous attempts to thwart it I succumb to what I call “stupid” days. These are days wherein I feel that I have not learned anything in the X number of years I have been in school. That all this time was spent on wasted education since I did not retain anything. These days are filled with self-doubt and self-tests. I start asking myself questions that I feel I should already know…basic information taught in Neuro 101. The combination of self-doubt and the added pressure of needing to answer correctly typically results in disaster and I fall deeper into the abyss of “stupidity.” Yes, it is completely illogical and a bit neurotic yet I cannot help it. I have tried to determine all the triggers, but I have only scratched the surface. Today, for example, was relatively unexpected. I went to bed last night with optimism regarding my to do list today. Two hours into my waking state and my optimism spiralled downwards to negativism. Thus, I am sitting in front of my computer wondering if what I’m blogging about even makes sense. The sensation that I have such limited vocabulary that I cannot acquiesce to the cacophony of fecklessness. See? As I am writing, I am trying to challenge these irrational thoughts. *sigh* This will be a long day.

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