The slight paranoia of real life characters crossing over to my blog world has always existed. As this paranoia was much stronger before, it was one of the reasons why it took me a while to start one. Clearly, I managed to overcome it yet much like an itch it remains to remind you of its presence. One of the reasons why I eventually caved in is the catharsis that I sometimes feel when unburdening myself online shrouded in a cloak of anonymity. This does not mean that I alienate my real life characters, but there are certain times that I am not quite ready to spill the entire story just yet. I need to be alone with my thoughts for that time being. Blogging allows me to do this. Seeing the words on my monitor, reading it to myself, hearing my own thoughts – it provides an insight quite different from the ones achieved from talking to my confidants. The comments made by fellow bloggers provide objective opinions unfettered by prior experiences with me. The experience opens a forum of thoughts and ideas in my mind that allows me to proceed accordingly – unbadgered by subjectivity. Needless to say, I cherish it. Unfortunately, the consequence of this is blog concealment. None of my real life characters know about my blog. It is especially difficult hiding it from Mr Shell since we share accommodations. Much easier concealing it from my bestfriends primarily due to geographic distance. Lately though, I have been contemplating mentioning it to Mr Shell. A part of me feels guilty from hiding it from him. I’m pretty sure he will respect my wishes to not find my blog yet I’m still hesitant. Is this wrong? Am I letting paranoia take over? It’s a tough decision to make as, once the cat is out of the bag, there is really no turning back.

4 Responses to “Anonymity”

  1. 1 b
    January 23, 2009 at 6:44 pm

    I always worry about my anonymity. I told my sisters and my husband about my blog. My sisters read it on occasion. I don’t think my husband ever does but he probably gets to hear about almost everything I write about anyway so I don’t think he feel compelled to read it.

  2. 2 b
    January 23, 2009 at 6:45 pm

    oops, should be “he feels”

  3. 3 Mamabeek
    January 24, 2009 at 3:58 am

    My other half has never looked at my blog, to my knowledge. My sister looks only randomly and the two friends who I told never look at all. So much for thinking anyone was interested in my soiled undergarments. Rather a letdown, that.

  4. January 25, 2009 at 6:30 pm

    b: You bring up a good point. Since I tell Mr Shell about everything I write about anyway, he may not be compelled to read it as well. I’m leaning closer and closer to telling him about the blog.

    Mamabeek: Soiled undergarments just gave me a funny visual. =) I think the fact that you told them about the blog is the biggest step. I remember when one of my bestfriends told me about her poetry blog I did not feel the urge to read it at all. Her telling me was already like I was reading it.

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